Losing a Job, Losing Yourself? How IFS Can Help Rebuild After a Layoff

By Dr. Manizeh Raza

For many of us, our work is a big part of our identity. When a layoff hits, the loss often impacts us deeply. It can strike at our identity, our sense of purpose, and the inner architecture we’ve built around being “someone” in the professional world. Suddenly, we can feel lost and many people find themselves asking, Who am I without this job?

The parts of us most shaken by a layoff are often the ones deeply tied to external validation and achievement. According to Internal Family Systems (IFS), these might be our “manager parts” — the ones who strive, perform, and push us to succeed. These parts have often carried a weight by ensuring we're seen as “competent”, “productive”, and “worthy” which can align with values passed down by our society and communities. When the job disappears, these parts can feel unanchored. The inner narrative can become self-critical with thoughts such as: You weren’t enough. You should’ve seen this coming. You failed.

IFS offers a powerful tool for making sense of this inner chaos. At its core, IFS helps us to get to know the different “parts” within us. IFS encourages us not to silence these parts, but to understand what they’re trying to protect. Using skills like slowing down and listening to the voices that emerge after a layoff, might help us find a part of ourselves that equates job loss with rejection. Through compassionate inquiry, we can begin to gently detangle from these parts and access the Self (the calm, grounded inner leader) who knows our worth isn’t tied to any resume or job position.

In the aftermath of a layoff, “protective parts” often show up in our relationships too. They try to help us by maybe pushing us to isolate, fearing judgment or pity from others. Or they might try to overcompensate — brushing off the loss, staying overly busy, or pretending everything is fine. These protectors are doing their best to shield our most vulnerable places, but they can unintentionally create distance and disconnection just when we need support the most.

The truth is, layoffs often result from systemic shifts: budget cuts, mergers, automation, and broader economic trends. Yet our inner critics rarely factor in the big picture. They can make things personal. With IFS, we can begin to notice and unburden those critical parts, recognizing that their harshness comes from a misguided attempt to protect us from further harm. By offering these parts compassion instead of resistance, we can soften their grip and create space for new, more balanced narratives.

Ultimately, IFS helps us rebuild from the inside out and in the quiet aftermath of professional loss, it helps us redefine ourselves and our self worth.